In a story that has brought faith in humanity back to billions of Australians questioning modern values, an elderly woman gave up her seat on the bus today for a pregnant man.
“I thought this mixed-up world was in desperate need of an asteroid, locust plague or a good-old fashioned biblical flood,” said one man who witnessed the event. “But seeing this elderly lady give up her seat for a heavily pregnant man melted my heart. Especially as I got to keep my seat.”
The Minister for Morals said the story touched him so hard he thought Rolf Harris was in the room.
“It’s so refreshing to see traditional values returning to a country that many think has lost its way,” said the minister. “So, I call on all Australians to understand many men are not simply fat, lazy, or drink too many longnecks, and they’re most likely fat, lazy, drink too many longnecks and pregnant.”
In a sad twist of fate, it was revealed the man was, in fact, just overweight, and the elderly lady died during a sharp corner.
It would have been her 108th birthday tomorrow.