REPORT: nobody cares where you stick your dong

It has been revealed today that nobody cares where or who consenting adults decide to throw their bellend into during the darker hours.  “I’ve popped my diamond cutter into plaster surgical gloves, a rotisserie chicken, and a greengrocer’s worth of fruit,” said one man. “It’s not pride. It’s not sin. It’s just what it is.”… Read More REPORT: nobody cares where you stick your dong

Stunning media bravely claims bloke in dress looks brave and stunning

The media have been labelled “brave and stunning” for constantly belting out articles about how “brave and stunning” a bloke is for wearing a dress. “Bravery used to mean going against the norm,” said one local man. “But now bravery means toeing the line and doing what’s popular.” “Real bravery would be something like saying… Read More Stunning media bravely claims bloke in dress looks brave and stunning

God admits he shouldn’t have rested on the seventh day

After watching current society, God has revealed that believing his creation was finished was a huge mistake. Most people feel God did a pretty good job creating everything, especially as it was his first time building a world from scratch. But also agree with God that he shouldn’t have knocked off early on the seventh… Read More God admits he shouldn’t have rested on the seventh day

Pornhub viewership tanks as teenage boys welcome in female change rooms

Pornhub has taken a massive hit in viewership since teenage boys can now identify as women for a few minutes to browse the women’s shower room for feminine delicacies including both “bobs” and “vagine”. Biological women are concerned with the trend. “One young fella watching us shower was shampooing what he called his feminine sausage… Read More Pornhub viewership tanks as teenage boys welcome in female change rooms

Walt Disney recast as a black trans lesbian with a club foot

Disney has announced they have recast their founder Walt Disney to suit today’s regressive tastes. “We’ve transitioned from entertainment to re-education,” said Disney spokesperson Peter Phile (alphabet/Funko Pop). “We’ll be tearing down statues of Walt Disney across all our theme parks and erecting family-friendly statues of Walt as a transgender lesbian of colour with a… Read More Walt Disney recast as a black trans lesbian with a club foot

Progressive tradie identifies as oi/c*nt 

One local tradie today has chosen the pronouns of oi/cunt, claiming anybody who rejects the tradesmxn’s gender identity is a bigot who should be cancelled and have their and their family’s life ruined on Twitter. His fellow tradies have labelled the move as pointless attention-seeking. “That’s what we call the cunt anyway,” said one colleague.… Read More Progressive tradie identifies as oi/c*nt 

“Mickey” Klim’s Olympic comeback destroyed after transgender ban

Australia’s Michael Klim’s recent transition to Mickey Klim to compete in the women’s division has been destroyed after FINA banned transgender athletes from elite swimming competition. “Shit,” said Mickey Klim. “I’m too old to compete in the men’s division, but a small change of my name and a pink bow on my noggin qualified me… Read More “Mickey” Klim’s Olympic comeback destroyed after transgender ban