Mainstream media go from pride month to pride destruction by censoring monkeypox facts

After a long and exhausting month of corporate and media virtue signalling for pride month, mainstream media and big tech have swiftly reverted back to homophobia by failing to warn gay and bisexual men of their disproportionate risk of contracting the monkeypox virus. “The truth is homophobic, and anybody caught spreading inconvenient facts will be… Read More Mainstream media go from pride month to pride destruction by censoring monkeypox facts

Endless Source of Crumbs in Toaster Hailed as Possible Solution to World Hunger

A Sydney woman who posted a frustrated rant on social media about the seemingly boundless breadcrumbs coming from her toaster has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for providing a possible solution to world hunger. “No matter how much I clean the damn thing, every time I move the toaster, more crumbs appear in… Read More Endless Source of Crumbs in Toaster Hailed as Possible Solution to World Hunger

Local who’s “never been wrong” discovers intelligent life inside echo chamber.

A stay-at-home twelfth-year student has discovered comfort in an echo chamber within a TaxiBox storage unit outside his parents’ Sydney chateau. “I’ve finally met that special someone who says exactly what I demand other people think,” the self-proclaimed woke-ologist said. “And that person happens to be the most respected life form I’ve ever met –… Read More Local who’s “never been wrong” discovers intelligent life inside echo chamber.

Mastermind Behind Australia’s Hardest Easter Egg Hunt Reveals Secret

A Maroubra dad whose Easter egg hunts achieved legendary status after children failed to find a single egg in 10 years, has today apologised to his family, community and religion, after admitting he’s been cheating for years. “The real reason no one ever found any Easter eggs is that I never hid any in the first… Read More Mastermind Behind Australia’s Hardest Easter Egg Hunt Reveals Secret

Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Poor Kids on Santa’s Naughty List for 4,000th Year Straight

Poor kids are simply not as nice as their wealthy counterparts, it has been proven once again this morning, with children from low-income families receiving far fewer presents than those from rich families. “Santa couldn’t be clearer on the issue; if you’re on the nice list you get the good presents and lots of them,… Read More Poor Kids on Santa’s Naughty List for 4,000th Year Straight

Man Who Bought Distant Relative Instant Scratchie Hoping he Doesn’t Win

A Sydney man who thoughtlessly stuffed a few scratchies into a birthday card to give to a distant relative during Christmas lunch is now really hoping the recipient doesn’t win anything more than $2. “I’d be fucking spewing if he wins anything good,” the man said. “To think all that cash could’ve been mine, but… Read More Man Who Bought Distant Relative Instant Scratchie Hoping he Doesn’t Win