In a groundbreaking move, the Australian government has announced plans to power its new nuclear plants using the raw, unbridled fury of left-wing activists. Touted as the greenest and most sustainable energy source available, left-wing outrage promises to provide a virtually infinite supply of power.

“We’ve cracked the code,” declared Energy Minister Sheila Powerup. “Harnessing the perpetual anger of lefties, who go nuclear over everything from straight white men existing to the rising cost of testosterone blockers, ensures our reactors will never run out of fuel.”

Environmentalists, typically vehemently opposed to nuclear energy, are now ironically the cornerstone of Australia’s energy revolution. The plan involves setting up reactors near hotspots of progressive indignation, such as university campuses and Free Palestine protests. Special “Outrage Collection Units” will be installed to capture and convert the copious amounts of rage into usable energy.

“Just one Twitter feud can generate enough electricity to power Sydney for a week. A sudden shortage of soy milk? That’s Melbourne sorted for a month!” Powerup continued.

The initiative has already seen test runs with remarkable results. When a local council proposed cutting funding for a gender studies programme, the ensuing uproar not only powered the town’s grid but also recharged every electric vehicle in a 5000-km radius.

Critics, predictably outraged, argue that the government is exploiting their emotional labour. “This is just another example of capitalist oppression,” fumed one activist, inadvertently powering a small town in Queensland for the evening. “Our anger is not for sale!”

In response, the government has set up “Rage Rebate” schemes, allowing lefties to earn credits towards sustainable products every time they fuel the nuclear reactors. “It’s a win-win,” said Powerup. “They get to vent, and we get to keep the lights on. Who knew sustainable energy could be so satisfying?”

As Australia gears up to roll out these revolutionary reactors nationwide, the future of energy looks hilariously irate and endlessly sustainable.