Man can’t wait to sign off work computer to sign in to home computer

One desk jockey today said he couldn’t wait to knock off work so he could log out of his office computer and spend quality time with his home computer. “Mindlessly scrolling on my work computer simply doesn’t give me the hit it does on my home computer,” said the man. “I’m looking at the same… Read More Man can’t wait to sign off work computer to sign in to home computer

Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart

Today, a Sydney Centrelink recipient has been rewarded for his continuous loyal service to Centrelink for reaching the ten-year mark on Newstart. The man will be given eight weeks’ leave from reporting with full benefits. “I was quickly running out of reporting fake or over skilled jobs that I had as much hope as Peter… Read More Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart

Sunday afternoon ruined by remembering Monday comes next

Billions of Australians are suffering crippling depression pains today over even the slightest thought of returning to work tomorrow. “I’ve had 16 beers today, and even that hasn’t put a dent on the fear of returning to work tomorrow,” one desk jockey said. “I hardly ever do any work at work, but I’d still rather… Read More Sunday afternoon ruined by remembering Monday comes next

Light Rail workers depressed about going back to work as project wraps up

Depression has kicked in for Sydney Light Rail workers as the multi-billion dollar project comes to an end after 22 years. “I can’t even remember what my job was,” one tradie said. “But luckily I haven’t forgotten how to build a solid compo claim.” Another worker slammed his peers for being so lazy. “These men… Read More Light Rail workers depressed about going back to work as project wraps up

Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Nervous Start to Christmas Party as Colleagues Wonder who has Cocaine

It’s been a nerve-shattering start to an office Christmas party today as colleagues begin guessing and probing each other to discover who has a bag of white Christmas. One staffer said he was living on an edge harder than anything Aerosmith ever sang about. “I had to have about 70 or so schoons of port… Read More Nervous Start to Christmas Party as Colleagues Wonder who has Cocaine

Melbourne Cup: Ignore Boss Saying to Forget Work and Have Fun Today

The government has issued a scam warning today cautioning workers across Australia to ignore bosses who tell them to enjoy the Melbourne Cup and not worry about doing any work this afternoon. Unfortunately, it has been confirmed that this is a known scam and your boss will still demand the work you were meant to… Read More Melbourne Cup: Ignore Boss Saying to Forget Work and Have Fun Today

Boss Sends Text Reminding Everyone the Weekend is Almost Over

The boss of a medium-sized Sydney business has taken the opportunity to deepen his employees’ already dark Sunday sads by sending a group text message reminding them their weekend is drying up. The deflating message read: Just a reminder your weekend is almost fineto and you’ll be back on my time tomorrow morning. I hope… Read More Boss Sends Text Reminding Everyone the Weekend is Almost Over