A local man who accomplished nothing over the weekend is having a late one brainstorming exciting stories to tell colleagues when they ask what he got up to during his two days of freedom. “I spent the entire weekend home alone boozing, playing video games, eating, and… worse,” the man said. “People who leave the… Read More Man prepares stories for ‘what did you do this Weekend?’ questioning
Billions of Australians are set to return to work tomorrow feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over… Read More Workers return from holidays with refreshed hatred for their Jobs
The government has issued a scam warning today cautioning workers across Australia to ignore bosses who tell them to enjoy the Melbourne Cup today and not worry about work tomorrow. Unfortunately, it has been confirmed that this is a known scam, and your boss will not only say Wednesday is going to be a “big… Read More Melbourne Cup: ignore boss saying to forget work tomorrow and just have fun today
One man’s day has been completely spoiled by waking up today. “Everything was going brilliantly until I opened my eyes,” said the man. “I went from being with Rihanna at a theme park to the reality of having to carpool with Rupert to a business park.” The man is not alone in dreading having a… Read More Day ruined by waking up
In a touching story, a gallant group of office workers have gone under the razor and shaved horseshoe domes to provide moral support and solidarity for a balding colleague. The tressless chap went straight to the HR department, only to find she, too, was rocking his signature horseshoe-do. “I’ve still got my whole life ahead… Read More HEARTWARMING: Office workers shave horseshoe-dos for bald coworker solidarity
The most despised day of the week, Monday, has today come out as Friday night in a move labelled stunning and brave. “I’m sick and tired of the Gregorian patriarch introduced in 1582 as a way to dominate, oppress and exploit myself as the day people have to return to work,” Monday said. “And frankly,… Read More Monday comes out as time fluid to identify as Friday night
One desk jockey today said he couldn’t wait to knock off work so he could log out of his office computer and spend quality time with his home computer. “Mindlessly scrolling on my work computer simply doesn’t give me the hit it does on my home computer,” said the man. “I’m looking at the same… Read More Man can’t wait to sign off work computer to sign in to home computer
Today, a Sydney Centrelink recipient has been rewarded for his continuous loyal service to Centrelink for reaching the ten-year mark on Newstart. The man will be given eight weeks’ leave from reporting with full benefits. “I was quickly running out of reporting fake or over skilled jobs that I had as much hope as Peter… Read More Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart
Billions of Australians are suffering crippling depression pains today over even the slightest thought of returning to work tomorrow. “I’ve had 16 beers today, and even that hasn’t put a dent on the fear of returning to work tomorrow,” one desk jockey said. “I hardly even do any work at work, but I’d still rather… Read More Sunday ruined by remembering Monday comes next
The Sydney Sentinel 