Poor kids are simply not as nice as their wealthy counterparts, it has been proven once again this morning, with children from low-income families receiving far fewer presents than those from rich families. “Santa couldn’t be clearer on the issue; if you’re on the nice list you get the good presents and lots of them,… Read More Poor Kids on Santa’s Naughty List for 4,000th Year Straight
The parents of a child in primary school have sat through two hours of bad dancing, acting, speeches and musical performances at the end-of-year assembly, without the aid of drugs or alcohol. “It was the longest two hours of our lives but we’re proud of how we handled it,” the father said. “I don’t think… Read More Proud Parents Make it through End-of-year School Assembly without Drugs or Alcohol
A Sydney man has been labelled an “absolute fucking legend” for bringing his Spalding High-Bounce Handball into work this week. Both players and spectators said that introducing Australia’s favourite school-ground game into the corporate world was nothing short of trouser shattering. “It’s up there with putting my pay cheque through the pokies on a Friday lunch break,”… Read More Deadset Legend Brings a Handball to Work
A Sydney man has had his self-confidence shattered after discovering he couldn’t pronounce about 50 words in a children’s picture book he was reading aloud at his girlfriend’s family gathering. After bombing a dozen or so challenging words, the man said he simply began replacing them with something easier or skipped the stumpers completely. “I… Read More Local Man Butchers Unexpected Tricky Words while Reading Children’s Book Out Loud
Schools across the state are set to introduce pill testing this month, in a bid to verify the quality of the wide variety of medications students are prescribed, ranging from mood stabiliser injections to peanut blockers. A NSW government health spokesperson told The Sydney Sentinel that the move would save lives. “Unmedicated students are challenging to teach and… Read More Schools Introduce Pill Testing to Ensure Students are Sufficiently Medicated
One Nation senator Pauline Hanson has expressed relief today after discovering her call for autistic children to be removed from classrooms was met with widespread outrage. “I thought I was losing my touch,” she said. “Comments about race just don’t get that kind of reaction anymore, so it’s reassuring to know people still get fired… Read More Pauline Hanson Discovers Topic More Controversial than Race
Bubblers have been turned off in schools across Australia and parents have been told not to pack water in their kids’ school bags following a rash of instant yet painful playground deaths attributed to allergic reactions to the world’s second-most popular form of hydration after vodka. “Children used to have mild allergies to things like… Read More Kids Now Allergic to Water
Ceramics classes has become the surprise hit for students at Randwick High, with 100% of students opting to take the elective class, and of that 100% all were awarded perfect attendance records, which is something that hasn’t been done since Blue Lagoon was one of the films studied intensively for English and biology. “We thought… Read More Ceramics a Surprise hit for Students at Randwick High
Schools across Australia are set to shut down in 2020 after a careers forecast report found every job will be filled by someone more qualified, a self-service checkout or the internet by the time anyone born after 2010 graduates. “There’s simply no point learning anything anymore – all the jobs are gone, and I don’t… Read More School to be Axed in 2020 in Preparation of Job Shortage
The Sydney Sentinel 