Father Christmas has caught up with the times and identified as a non-binary gifting person in a move that has been labelled stunning and brave by Disney types. With the change comes replacing the naughty and nice list with the privileged and victimised list, with those who play the victim the loudest receiving the most… Read More Father Christmas identifies as non-binary gifting person
Poor kids are simply not as nice as their wealthy counterparts, it has been proven once again this morning, with children from low-income families receiving far fewer presents than those from rich families. “Santa couldn’t be clearer on the issue; if you’re on the nice list you get the good presents and lots of them,… Read More Poor Kids on Santa’s Naughty List for 4,000th Year Straight
Australia Post has been deliberately sending the wrong mail to people across the country for years as part of a top-secret nationwide secret Santa program, according to a statement released by the company’s PR team today. “We’ve been secretly bringing the magic of Christmas to people all throughout the year for as long as we… Read More Australia Post Claims Wrongly Delivered Mail Result of Nationwide Secret Santa Program
Santa Claus has been labelled as highly offensive for choosing to be a white heterosexual male, with furious protest groups demanding him to be banned immediately. “We’ve put up with this macho Santa garbage since the third century,” one person with crippling offended pains said. “We’ve gone to great lengths to ensure that the non-denominational… Read More Calls to Ban Santa for Choosing to be a White Heterosexual Male
A state of emergency has been declared in New South Wales as riots reach their second day in Newtown after a young girl was gifted a doll from Santa Clause this Christmas. The violent protests began shortly after Christmas morning when the girl’s parents watched in horror as their daughter gleefully ripped open the gift… Read More The Nightmare After Christmas: Newtown Burns as Girl Gifted Doll
Father Christmas is in violation of lockout laws and will be shot out of the sky if spotted near Sydney, NSW premier Gladys Berejiklian has said, describing the Australian tradition of leaving an alcoholic beverage out for Santa on Christmas Eve as “extremely problematic”. “By leaving a slab of beer or a carton of Jägerbombs out… Read More Santa Locked Out of Sydney This Christmas
With Santas arriving in shopping centres months before Christmas, major retailers across NSW are planning to ensure they never leave. “Santa is a closer,” one retailer said. “Having him in-store year-round will really put the pressure on shoppers to perform at their best every month.” The NSW Department of Commerce has backed the move, noting… Read More Retailers Push to Have Santa In-Store All Year
The Sydney Sentinel 