ATMs upgraded with the option to gamble your withdrawal

ATMs across Australia will introduce a new option that will allow people to gamble their withdrawal amount, potentially doubling or even quadrupling their withdrawal if they select the correct colour or suit. “It’s about damn time,” said the Minister of Money. “Banks were torpedoing us with $2 withdrawal fees for years, and now we can… Read More ATMs upgraded with the option to gamble your withdrawal

Pokies by The Sea to compete with Sculpture by The Sea

Maroubra council is set to launch Pokies by the Sea, a new beach-side exhibition designed to rival the hugely popular Sculpture by the Sea event that takes place along the coastal path between Bondi to Bronte. Organisers have promised to include “all the classic titles, such as Big Red and More Chilli” in the exhibition, which… Read More Pokies by The Sea to compete with Sculpture by The Sea

Australia imposes brutal financial sanctions on Russia by exporting pokies

Today, the Australian government has announced the harshest financial sanctions on Russia in the world and Tasmania by exporting VIP lounges across Moscow. “Pokies are our home-grown weapons of mass destruction,” said recently elected Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. “We may not have nukes or TikTok, but we have something far more crippling – Big Fuckin’… Read More Australia imposes brutal financial sanctions on Russia by exporting pokies

Sunday Drinkers Claim Hangover “Impossible” after Such a Nice Day

A group of men and women still going hard at it since meeting for a quiet Sunday lunch are telling themselves the perfect weather conditions have made them hangover proof. One elbow-lifter said excessive Sunday alcohol consumption didn’t bother him one bit. “Mate, it’s a nice day, the sun’s out, and we’re sticking to just… Read More Sunday Drinkers Claim Hangover “Impossible” after Such a Nice Day

Man Pulls Out at $290 on the Pokies to Avoid Compulsory Nose Bag Shout

A Sydney man enjoying a purple patch on the sentimental favourite pokie he grew up with, Spring Carnival, decided to call it quits and cash out at $290 so his spectating pals didn’t enforce the compulsory rule of shouting everyone a nose bag if your winnings exceed $300. The man said hitting collect was one… Read More Man Pulls Out at $290 on the Pokies to Avoid Compulsory Nose Bag Shout

VIP Lounges Ban Hitting Spin with Schooner Glass and Other Cheats

The NSW Pokies Federation has introduced new laws banning several illegal moves that they say dramatically minimise the need for skill and create an unfair playing lounge. Moves that will be outlawed from today include hitting the spin button with the edge of your schooner glass, switching bet amounts to reset the odds, and tapping… Read More VIP Lounges Ban Hitting Spin with Schooner Glass and Other Cheats

Pokie Icon Queen of the Nile named 2017 Australian of the Year

Long-serving poker-machine favourite the Queen of the Nile has been named 2017 Australian of the Year, in a move that promises to put gender equality, multiculturalism and decent feature payouts at the top of the national agenda. Although the semi-retired pokie star has been moved to the corner of many VIP rooms with newer, flashier… Read More Pokie Icon Queen of the Nile named 2017 Australian of the Year