Man can’t wait to sign off work computer to sign in to home computer

One desk jockey today said he couldn’t wait to knock off work so he could log out of his office computer and spend quality time with his home computer. “Mindlessly scrolling on my work computer simply doesn’t give me the hit it does on my home computer,” said the man. “I’m looking at the same… Read More Man can’t wait to sign off work computer to sign in to home computer

Billions choosing to “work from nowhere” over working from home or the office

Australians have discovered this weekend they much prefer working from nowhere than either working from home or the office. “Working from anywhere puts a dampener on my day,” said one man who has decided to go on Albobucks. “Work stopped me from doing all the simple things in life, like seeing my wife, seeing my… Read More Billions choosing to “work from nowhere” over working from home or the office

Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart

Today, a Sydney Centrelink recipient has been rewarded for his continuous loyal service to Centrelink for reaching the ten-year mark on Newstart. The man will be given eight weeks’ leave from reporting with full benefits. “I was quickly running out of reporting fake or over skilled jobs that I had as much hope as Peter… Read More Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart

Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Drug Dealers Selling Berocca for $300 a tab

Chemists are taking advantage of today’s spike in Christmas-party hangovers by charging dull-eyed customers up to $300 for a single tablet of Berocca. One office worker who has yet to go to bed after enjoying “a few beers” at his Christmas party, which began yesterday morning and continued on into the afternoon, evening and then… Read More Drug Dealers Selling Berocca for $300 a tab

Nervous Start to Christmas Party as Colleagues Wonder who has Cocaine

It’s been a nerve-shattering start to an office Christmas party today as colleagues begin guessing and probing each other to discover who has a bag of white Christmas. One staffer said he was living on an edge harder than anything Aerosmith ever sang about. “I had to have about 70 or so schoons of port… Read More Nervous Start to Christmas Party as Colleagues Wonder who has Cocaine

Melbourne Cup: Ignore Boss Saying to Forget Work and Have Fun Today

The government has issued a scam warning today cautioning workers across Australia to ignore bosses who tell them to enjoy the Melbourne Cup and not worry about doing any work this afternoon. Unfortunately, it has been confirmed that this is a known scam and your boss will still demand the work you were meant to… Read More Melbourne Cup: Ignore Boss Saying to Forget Work and Have Fun Today

Man Prepares Stories for ‘How was your Weekend?’ Questions at Work

A Sydney man who accomplished nothing over the weekend has woken up early this morning to brainstorm exciting stories to tell people at work when they ask what he got up to. “I spent the entire weekend home alone boozing, playing video games and eating,” the man said. “People who leave the house make my… Read More Man Prepares Stories for ‘How was your Weekend?’ Questions at Work