Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs
A local dad has given up pretending he will take the Christmas tree down, finally admitting to his family that it’s staying up ‘till next December, even if it smells like rotting anus. After originally telling his wife he’d take the tree down on Boxing Day, then New Year’s Day, Australia Day and then Valentine’s… Read More Dad Says F– it and Leaves Tree Up For Xmas 2019
A father of three from Sydney is still at the wicket in a family game of backyard cricket that began on Christmas Day. The man’s kids have fought through skin-crackling sunburn, life-threatening splinters from jumping the neighbours’ fence to retrieve the ball, and crude sledges about their mum, said the eldest son. “He’s been smashing… Read More Dad Still Not Out in Christmas Day Cricket Classic
New Year’s Eve celebrations have disappointed people across the world for the 2,018th year in a row, with many revellers waking up with a jolt of fear early this morning. One Sydney-sider described the evening as a lethal cocktail of hope, joy and festivity. “Whenever I’m feeling good, things go really bad,” he said. “I… Read More NYE Disappoints for the 2,018th Year in a Row
Capping off a horror year that has seen a string of high-profile celebrity deaths, Adolf Hitler has risen from his grave just in time for New Year’s Eve. Hitler, who was Führer of Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945, was found enjoying a currywurst at a market in Berlin this morning, where he told shocked… Read More 2016 Brings Hitler Back to Life
A Sydney man is set to once again achieve none of his well-thought-out plans over the Christmas holidays, including reading a book, returning from a 14-year exercise break and being a good dad. “I always plan to get so much done,” the man said. “But by the time the holidays are almost over, I’ve wasted… Read More Man Set to Achieve None of His Holiday Plans
In a bid to avoid people being too tired on January 1, the NSW government has officially adjusted time and calendars so that Sydney can celebrate New Year’s Eve in a more “sensible” fashion, with the city’s famous fireworks displays being moved to 6 pm for children and 9 pm for grown-ups. “12 am is a… Read More 2019 to Begin at 9 pm on December 31 in Sydney
After a recent crackdown on jaywalking in Sydney raised more than $12.2 million in fines across a 14-day period, police are calling for a move to ban a wide range of alphabetical walking styles. Probationary Constable Rusty Lahood described the revenue raised from the jaywalking blitz as “incredible” and “an inspiring example of what the… Read More Police Extend Jaywalking Blitz to Include Other Letters
The Sydney Sentinel 