Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs
The only good thing about sliding down an icy hill, eating strange animal parts and paying thousands for worthless rocks is that other people can’t afford to, some of Australia’s wealthiest people have admitted. “Going to the beach is obviously a lot more fun than skiing, but anyone can afford to do that,” one rich… Read More Rich People Admit No One Really Enjoys Skiing, Foie Gras and Diamonds
Sydney is set to phase out the humble $50 note over the next few months after widespread complaints that the denomination lovingly known as a “pineapple” is not worth enough to purchase anything in Sydney. Sydney isn’t the first city to consider canning the $50 note, according to The Royal Australian Mint. “Perth had the… Read More “Useless” $50 Note to be Phased Out in Sydney
A Sydney man with three young children is ecstatic to be back at work today after a gruelling long weekend spent with his wife and kids. “I hate long weekends,” the man said. “Work is a bludge compared to being forced to spend time with your own wife and kids. I often stay back late… Read More Married Man with Kids Stoked to be Back at Work After Long Weekend
A local dad has given up pretending he will take the Christmas tree down, finally admitting to his family that it’s staying up ‘till next December, even if it smells like rotting anus. After originally telling his wife he’d take the tree down on Boxing Day, then New Year’s Day, Australia Day and then Valentine’s… Read More Dad Says F– it and Leaves Tree Up For Xmas 2019
Vaucluse residents are set to protest the phasing out of the $100 note after the government flagged a review of the country’s highest-denomination banknote in a bid to crack down on the “black economy”. There are currently 300 million $100 notes in circulation, with 97 per cent found in the wallets of Vaucluse residents. “This… Read More Vaucluse Residents Outraged Over Scrapping of $100 Note
Redfern local Peter Panner today spoiled his weekend before it even started when he accidentally pressed “check balance” while withdrawing cash from an ATM this morning. “I couldn’t believe it,” Panner said. “I always take an ostrich-style approach to finances, so when that negative balance popped up on screen two weeks from payday I nearly… Read More Weekend Ruined by Accidentally Checking Bank Balance
After a recent crackdown on jaywalking in Sydney raised more than $12.2 million in fines across a 14-day period, police are calling for a move to ban a wide range of alphabetical walking styles. Probationary Constable Rusty Lahood described the revenue raised from the jaywalking blitz as “incredible” and “an inspiring example of what the… Read More Police Extend Jaywalking Blitz to Include Other Letters
The Sydney Sentinel 