The most despised day of the week, Monday, has today come out as Friday night in a move labelled stunning and brave. “I’m sick and tired of the Gregorian patriarch introduced in 1582 as a way to dominate, oppress and exploit myself as the day people have to return to work,” Monday said. “And frankly,… Read More Monday comes out as time fluid to identify as Friday night
Billions of Australians are suffering crippling depression pains today over even the slightest thought of returning to work tomorrow. “I’ve had 16 beers today, and even that hasn’t put a dent on the fear of returning to work tomorrow,” one desk jockey said. “I hardly even do any work at work, but I’d still rather… Read More Sunday ruined by remembering Monday comes next
Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs
A group of men and women still going hard at it since meeting for a quiet Sunday lunch are telling themselves the perfect weather conditions have made them hangover proof. One elbow-lifter said excessive Sunday alcohol consumption didn’t bother him one bit. “Mate, it’s a nice day, the sun’s out, and we’re sticking to just… Read More Sunday Drinkers Claim Hangover “Impossible” after Such a Nice Day
The boss of a medium-sized Sydney business has taken the opportunity to deepen his employees’ already dark Sunday sads by sending a group text message reminding them their weekend is drying up. The deflating message read: Just a reminder your weekend is almost fineto and you’ll be back on my time tomorrow morning. I hope… Read More Boss Sends Text Reminding Everyone the Weekend is Almost Over
A lowly CBD office worker has had the worst start possible to the working week he’d been dreading since awakening at 2pm Sunday afternoon, when his boss struck up a conversation while using an adjacent urinal first thing Monday morning. “It was agony,” the victim said. “Our office urinals don’t even have those little trough-mist… Read More Horror Start for Monday Morning as Boss Joins Man at Urinal
A 68-year-old Sydney man was beaten to death this morning while driving his regular bus route from Maroubra to Circular Quay, after passengers were offended by his positive attitude. One passenger described the incident as the result of “justified rage” in the face of “rude happiness”. “This was the manifestation of built up anger reaching… Read More Bus Driver Beaten to Death After Being Too Cheery on Monday Morning
The Sydney Sentinel 