Tag: Job

Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart

Today, a Sydney Centrelink recipient has been rewarded for his continuous loyal service to Centrelink for reaching the ten-year mark on Newstart. The man will be given eight weeks’ leave from reporting with full benefits. “I was quickly running out of reporting fake or over skilled jobs that I had as much hope as Peter… Read More Centrelink recipient scores long service leave after celebrating ten years on Newstart

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Light Rail workers depressed about going back to work as project wraps up

Depression has kicked in for Sydney Light Rail workers as the multi-billion dollar project comes to an end after 22 years. “I can’t even remember what my job was,” one tradie said. “But luckily I haven’t forgotten how to build a solid compo claim.” Another worker slammed his peers for being so lazy. “These men… Read More Light Rail workers depressed about going back to work as project wraps up

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Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs

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Man Questioned After Returning Home at 3 am Smelling Shower Fresh

A Sydney man has undergone intense questioning this morning after he returned home from having “a few quiet ones with the boys” at 3 am smelling shower fresh. The man’s wife said it was “obvious” he’d been to the hand-job hut that recently opened between their home and the local pub. “Since that rub-and-tug shop popped up,… Read More Man Questioned After Returning Home at 3 am Smelling Shower Fresh

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Eye Contact Banned on Sydney Transport

Direct eye contact lasting more than three seconds with fellow passengers has been banned today on all Sydney transport, including train, bus and ferry travel, with an on-the-spot five-year prison sentence issued to anyone found violating the new law. The rule is being introduced after surveys revealed that “other people” is most travellers’ biggest problem with public transport.… Read More Eye Contact Banned on Sydney Transport

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