Country boy hospitalised after greeting every passerby on the street in Sydney CBD

A man from country NSW is suffering from third-degree vocal cord tears after he personally greeted every single person he walked past during a short stroll in the big smoke today. To make matters worse, not a single person acknowledged him in return, he told The Sydney Sentinel in an interview conducted via Morse code. “I started… Read More Country boy hospitalised after greeting every passerby on the street in Sydney CBD

Public urged to present to hospital months before getting sick to avoid death

The Minister for Health, Dr Nonstrife, has blamed patients for failing to present to their local emergency department months before experiencing symptoms from heart explosion to genital leprosy. “With waiting room times averaging three weeks, by the time we’re ready to see the patient, they’re usually already dead, which is the height of rudeness,” said… Read More Public urged to present to hospital months before getting sick to avoid death

Man in Hospital After Early Uber Arrival Forces Him to Skol 400 Beers

A Sydney man is in hospital with chronic drunkenness pains after the Uber he ordered to take him to the pub arrived four minutes early, forcing him to drink 400 of his 680 pre-drinks beers in under 30 seconds. A government health spokesperson has slammed Uber, calling for an “urgent review” of the ride-sharing service.… Read More Man in Hospital After Early Uber Arrival Forces Him to Skol 400 Beers

Dr Google Makes Record Number of Cancer Diagnoses

Dr Google is being recognised as the world’s most efficient medical professional, after figures were revealed indicating it has diagnosed more cases of cancer than all other doctors combined. Patients, who have been diagnosed with various types of cancer after researching symptoms such as a mild headache, unwanted erection or hangover, say conventional doctors just… Read More Dr Google Makes Record Number of Cancer Diagnoses

Garbage Man Finally Discharged From Hospital After Drinking All His Christmas Gifts in One Night

A Botany area garbage man was discharged from hospital today after spending almost six months in bed as the result of an unprecedented bender in which he attempted to drink all of his Christmas presents from local residents in one night. “It would’ve been rude not to drink them all, but after polishing off the… Read More Garbage Man Finally Discharged From Hospital After Drinking All His Christmas Gifts in One Night