Unattractive bloke now “cute” hipster

Ordinary-looking men are converting to Hipsterism en masse after discovering their odds of pulling a Ron Coote is a sure thing by donning ironic football beanies, wearing clear-brimmed glasses, smoking White Ox, and speaking with vocal fry. Combined with bum-fluff moustaches for skinny Hipstorians, or full beards for portly Hipbros, these men now have to… Read More Unattractive bloke now “cute” hipster

Hipsters Now Only Masturbate to Vintage Porno Mags

Curly moustachioed folk have begun masturbating exclusively to vintage pornography magazines foraged from local parks or under an uncle’s bed, a special Sydney Sentinel investigation can reveal. “PornHub is so mainstream,” a hipster spokesman said. “Magazines have a certain smell and feel that you simply can’t recreate with a video.” The spokesman took our investigative team to a local park he described… Read More Hipsters Now Only Masturbate to Vintage Porno Mags

Australian Hipsters Celebrate Thanksgiving as Christmas Becomes “Too Mainstream”

One Surry Hills local who hasn’t left his home suburb since visiting Bondi to renew his Icebergs membership, is among a growing number of Australians planning to celebrate the American tradition of Thanksgiving this week. “Everyone in Australia does Christmas – it’s so predictable,” the man said. “I’ve never been to America and I don’t know any… Read More Australian Hipsters Celebrate Thanksgiving as Christmas Becomes “Too Mainstream”