One local man has done it again and got himself into winter body shape to comfortably handle the cooler temperatures. “I got myself into such great winter shape this year I can still wear shorts and a singlet to work, funerals, and even the bottle-o cool room,” said the portly man. “Nothing can penetrate my… Read More Man “winter body ready” for the 11th year straight
The Minister for Health, Dr Nonstrife, has blamed patients for failing to present to their local emergency department months before experiencing symptoms from heart explosion to genital leprosy. “With waiting room times averaging three weeks, by the time we’re ready to see the patient, they’re usually already dead, which is the height of rudeness,” said… Read More Public urged to present to hospital months before getting sick to avoid death
Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs
Winfield has described its new Optimum Ice Crush darts as “smokes for a new generation” at a product launch today. The durry features the similar NASA-developed technology as the brand’s Optimum Crush product, which contains a crushable mint pellet that releases a menthol-like taste from first to last drag. A spokesperson said evolving the popular line… Read More Winfield Launches Optimum Ice Crush cigarettes
A service launched in Sydney today that allows “time-poor” clients to relax while personal trainers work out on their behalf. The new service, called Fitness 4 U, is designed for busy Sydneysiders who’d rather be drinking at work, drinking at the pub, or drinking at home than exercise. One of the first members of the… Read More New Personal Training Service Where Trainers do the Workout for You
A Sydney man was forced to eat his own poo to make it through a night trapped inside a local health food emporium when staff locked the store up for the night without realising he was still inside. The mishap occurred after the man rushed into the store to use the gender-neutral toilet and fell… Read More Man Trapped in Health Food Store Overnight Forced to Eat Own Poo
Dr Google is being recognised as the world’s most efficient medical professional, after figures were revealed indicating it has diagnosed more cases of cancer than all other doctors combined. Patients, who have been diagnosed with various types of cancer after researching symptoms such as a mild headache, unwanted erection or hangover, say conventional doctors just… Read More Dr Google Makes Record Number of Cancer Diagnoses
Schools across the state are set to introduce pill testing this month, in a bid to verify the quality of the wide variety of medications students are prescribed, ranging from mood stabiliser injections to peanut blockers. A NSW government health spokesperson told The Sydney Sentinel that the move would save lives. “Unmedicated students are challenging to teach and… Read More Schools Introduce Pill Testing to Ensure Students are Sufficiently Medicated
A Sydney worker today has suffered a massive heart attack after quickening his step to get through a door being held open by a colleague. The man who is in a serious yet stable condition at Maroubra Hospital has told the Sydney Sentinel that he didn’t want to be rude, even though he knew that… Read More Man has Heart Attack Running for Door Held Open by Colleague
The Sydney Sentinel 