Millions drown as lifeguards preoccupied filming Bondi Rescue

Over a million people have died in a horror summer at Bondi beach, where lifeguards have been preoccupied with filming new episodes of Channel Ten’s Bondi Rescue. “Unfortunately, not all rescues make for good TV, and we have to prioritise those that do,” one Bondi lifeguard said. “If you plan on visiting our beach and… Read More Millions drown as lifeguards preoccupied filming Bondi Rescue

WestConnex “Drug Super High Way” to be Extended to Bondi Beach

The controversial WestConnex motorway project has been secretly extended to create an express route from Sydney’s western suburbs to Bondi Beach after researchers found it was the journey most frequently made by “private couriers”, a special Sydney Sentinel investigation can reveal. The extension, dubbed the “drug super high way”, is described as “key to both ensuring the… Read More WestConnex “Drug Super High Way” to be Extended to Bondi Beach

Instagram Models Outnumber Regular People in Bondi

The number of people taking highly crafted Photoshopped selfies to upload to Instragram has overtaken the general population in Bondi Beach, a new report has revealed. Regular-beautiful-person-turned-Instagram-star Chloe said good-looking people who don’t share their lives on Instagram are “just being selfish”, adding that she takes “a lot of pride in what she has achieved”… Read More Instagram Models Outnumber Regular People in Bondi

128 Drown While Lifeguards Busy Filming Bondi Rescue

More than 100 people have died in a horror start to the summer beach season at Bondi, where lifeguards have been preoccupied with filming new episodes of Channel Ten’s Bondi Rescue. “Unfortunately, not all rescues make for good TV and we have to prioritise those that do,” one Bondi lifeguard said. “If you plan on… Read More 128 Drown While Lifeguards Busy Filming Bondi Rescue

Pokies by The Sea to Compete with Sculpture by The Sea

Maroubra council is set to launch Pokies by the Sea, a new beach-side exhibition designed to rival the hugely popular Sculpture by the Sea event currently taking place along the coastal path between Bondi to Bronte. Organisers have promised to include “all the classic titles, such as Big Red and More Chilli” in the exhibition, which… Read More Pokies by The Sea to Compete with Sculpture by The Sea

Ugly People to be Banned From Bondi to Coogee Walk

Checkpoints will be set up at the entrances to the popular coastal walk between Bondi to Coogee this weekend in a bid to weed out ugly people, sweaty runners and others who might ruin perfect selfie opportunities for beautiful people. Chloe, a 22-year-old Tamarama local who describes herself as an “entrepreneur/model/beauty blogger”, will be responsible… Read More Ugly People to be Banned From Bondi to Coogee Walk