After calling Beyond Blue and hearing what a flaming tailspin the counsellor’s life is, one man has dramatically boosted his mood today. “I thought my life was bad, but ouch,” said the man. “I ended up talking him off the ledge for a solid three hours.” The counsellor said that people “get a real lift… Read More Man feels much better after hearing how rubbish Beyond Blue counsellor’s life is
Billions of Australians are suffering crippling depression pains today over even the slightest thought of returning to work tomorrow. “I’ve had 16 beers today, and even that hasn’t put a dent on the fear of returning to work tomorrow,” one desk jockey said. “I hardly even do any work at work, but I’d still rather… Read More Sunday ruined by remembering Monday comes next
Depression has kicked in for Sydney Light Rail workers as the multi-billion dollar project comes to an end after 22 years. “I can’t even remember what my job was,” one tradie said. “But luckily I haven’t forgotten how to build a solid compo claim.” Another worker slammed his peers for being so lazy. “These men… Read More Light Rail workers depressed about going back to work as project wraps up
Billions of Sydneysiders have returned to work today feeling refreshed hatred for their jobs after experiencing two weeks of life outside the office. One man said he’d always known going to work was “balls”, but that after enjoying such luxuries as seeing his wife and kids and eating lunch away from his keyboard over the… Read More Workers Return from Holidays Feeling Refreshed Hatred for their Jobs
A Sydney man who thoughtlessly stuffed a few scratchies into a birthday card to give to a distant relative during Christmas lunch is now really hoping the recipient doesn’t win anything more than $2. “I’d be fucking spewing if he wins anything good,” the man said. “To think all that cash could’ve been mine, but… Read More Man Who Bought Distant Relative Instant Scratchie Hoping he Doesn’t Win
The boss of a medium-sized Sydney business has taken the opportunity to deepen his employees’ already dark Sunday sads by sending a group text message reminding them their weekend is drying up. The deflating message read: Just a reminder your weekend is almost fineto and you’ll be back on my time tomorrow morning. I hope… Read More Boss Sends Text Reminding Everyone the Weekend is Almost Over
Dr Google is being recognised as the world’s most efficient medical professional, after figures were revealed indicating it has diagnosed more cases of cancer than all other doctors combined. Patients, who have been diagnosed with various types of cancer after researching symptoms such as a mild headache, unwanted erection or hangover, say conventional doctors just… Read More Dr Google Makes Record Number of Cancer Diagnoses
Schools across the state are set to introduce pill testing this month, in a bid to verify the quality of the wide variety of medications students are prescribed, ranging from mood stabiliser injections to peanut blockers. A NSW government health spokesperson told The Sydney Sentinel that the move would save lives. “Unmedicated students are challenging to teach and… Read More Schools Introduce Pill Testing to Ensure Students are Sufficiently Medicated
A Sydney man with three young children is ecstatic to be back at work today after a gruelling long weekend spent with his wife and kids. “I hate long weekends,” the man said. “Work is a bludge compared to being forced to spend time with your own wife and kids. I often stay back late… Read More Married Man with Kids Stoked to be Back at Work After Long Weekend
The Sydney Sentinel 