Drag queens recruited to fill primary school teacher shortage

The government today has replenished its dwindling trained schoolteachers with drag queens, who promise to groom children into “rainbows of love”, despite having zero experience as teachers, let alone knowledge of basic biology. The Greens have worshipped the move, calling it the best thing since cancel culture. “Regular teachers spruik useless junk like maths and… Read More Drag queens recruited to fill primary school teacher shortage

People with “I love the ABC and I vote” bumper stickers banned from voting

Comrades with ABC propaganda bumper stickers boasting about their right to vote have, unfortunately, lost their right to vote in Australia. One ABC employee shrieking with rage shrieked with rage. “I’m literally shaking so hard I could barely GetUp! out of bed this morning. I can’t cope, breathe, or even moderate r/australia to delete conservative… Read More People with “I love the ABC and I vote” bumper stickers banned from voting

Two grown men still cosplaying as cowboys from Queensland despite Halloween ending

Despite Halloween ending last week, two inner-city Sydney leftist satirists continue larping as cowboys, in spite of having less testosterone than a transitioning cowgirl hooked up to an intravenous estrogen drip. Ignoring that cowboys are famous for their masculine traits, the pair are more feminine than a David Jones cosmetics counter. The duo, known for… Read More Two grown men still cosplaying as cowboys from Queensland despite Halloween ending

ABC launches dedicated Welcome to Country 24/7 channel

Australians can now be welcomed to their own country on demand with the launch of ABC Welcome to Country 24/7. The “ancient” Welcome to Country ceremony was invented in 1974 to ward off evil spirits. Some ABC employees are rightfully concerned they, themselves, may be warded off as the evil spirits Aboriginal people were attempting… Read More ABC launches dedicated Welcome to Country 24/7 channel