WorldPride is under fire today for converting more atheists to Christianity than Jesus Christ, with churches ironically becoming a refuge from having a dong waved in a child’s face. One former atheist said WorldPride had him on his knees to another man, but not in the way they intended. “I’m not epileptic, but having every… Read More WorldPride accused of converting more atheists to Christianity than Jesus
Comrades with ABC propaganda bumper stickers boasting about their right to vote have, unfortunately, lost their right to vote in Australia. One ABC employee shrieking with rage shrieked with rage. “I’m literally shaking so hard I could barely GetUp! out of bed this morning. I can’t cope, breathe, or even moderate r/australia to delete conservative… Read More People with “I love the ABC and I vote” bumper stickers banned from voting
Reacting to NSW’s new $25 million Aboriginal flag on top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Victorian government has announced it will not be out-woked by constructing an enormous $25 billion rainbow flag that will cover most of Melbourne. “Cop that, Sydney,” said Victoria’s Minister of Flagpoles. “This $25 billion flag will prove that Melbourne… Read More Melbourne one-ups Sydney by ordering $25 billion rainbow flag
Australians have discovered this weekend they much prefer working from nowhere than either working from home or the office. “Working from anywhere puts a dampener on my day,” said one man who has decided to go on Albobucks. “Work stopped me from doing all the simple things in life, like seeing my wife, seeing my… Read More Billions choosing to “work from nowhere” over working from home or the office
A service launched in Sydney today that allows “time-poor” clients to relax while personal trainers work out on their behalf. The new service, called Fitness 4 U, is designed for busy Sydneysiders who’d rather be drinking at work, drinking at the pub, or drinking at home than exercise. One of the first members of the… Read More Personal training service launched where the trainer does the workout for you
Depression has kicked in for Sydney Light Rail workers as the multi-billion dollar project comes to an end after 22 years. “I can’t even remember what my job was,” one tradie said. “But luckily I haven’t forgotten how to build a solid compo claim.” Another worker slammed his peers for being so lazy. “These men… Read More Light Rail workers depressed about going back to work as project wraps up
c Unproudly sponsored by Companion Couch A local man has thoughtfully bought his girlfriend a stunning new couch. While this has been received positively in the household as a benevolent move, locals familiar with the man feel he’s up to his old tricks. “That clever scallywag,” a rugby teammate said. “Knowing that he’s sentenced to… Read More Local buys girlfriend new couch so he still has a good place to sleep when he’s in the doghouse
A Sydney entrepreneur/influencer/stay-at-home-model who currently specialises in creating premium events – that are actually premium – has struck “Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee” (known as gold in other states) with Adelaide natives tonight, after promoting her latest event as “a step back in time to the 1920s”. “The event sold out in an Adelaide minute,” the… Read More Sydney event with 1920 theme a lifesaver for homesick Adelaidians.
Creating random, collage-style film clips using every technique learned at art school does not make you a creative genius, a new study has found. The CSIRO study, conducted by a brave scientist who agreed to endure a marathon A Clockwork Orange-style viewing of Rage, found that being strange for the sake of being strange and a misunderstanding of… Read More Being as Weird as Possible Not the Same as Being Creative, Study Finds
The Sydney Sentinel 