WorldPride is under fire today for converting more atheists to Christianity than Jesus Christ, with churches ironically becoming a refuge from having a dong waved in a child’s face.

One former atheist said WorldPride had him on his knees to another man, but not in the way they intended.

“I’m not epileptic, but having every surface covered in rainbows to prove you’re a good person gives me seizures whenever I leave home. Now I pray to God all this glitter doesn’t make climate pests’ predictions come true.”

One trans person simply trying to get on with life commented on the issue.

“Despite every brand, media organisation, big tech company, education institute, sporting organisation and politician on earth bending more than a knee to the rainbow flag, we’re told we are victims.”

She added, “We’re just normal people. If who you root is your identity, you’re not fabulous. You’re just boring.”

Jesus Christ has been embarrassed by the whole thing.

“I had to die on a bloody cross to get people to follow me,” said Jesus. “This mob managed to convert billions by being nailed for fun.”