A wireless Bluetooth dog leash has been launched today at the Consumer Electronics Show, promising to give dog owners the freedom of allowing their best mate to run free without the pesky prospect of a fine.

“Traditional dog leashes are annoying,” said one owner. “It makes it obvious that when my dog snaps off a log, I’m meant to clean it up. The wireless nature of this new Bluetooth leash means nobody knows it’s my dog fouling up the footpath with land mines.”

Other dog lovers agree.

“Traditional leashes mean I must bag up my dog’s sidewalk mockery, only to toss the bag on the floor later down the road when nobody is watching. This way, I can ignore the bum gravy completely.”

Council workers are conflicted with this new bit of tech.

“How can you have a lead without having a lead?” questioned one senior ranger. “This is the worst invention since gender-neutral toilets.”

The Minister of Pavement Oysters has sent out a stern warning.

“I recommend the public wear facemasks over their shoes to avoid stepping on lung lollies and sliding over a bum rope.”

No more to come.