The Voice to parliament, which has been so softly spoken it has revealed nothing, is set to reintroduce the Great Dividing Range and separate Australian citizens into those who were here the longest vs migrants who arrived recently.
“We used to be one people striving to better the country for everybody,” said one low-ranking Australian who only arrived 60 years ago. “But now we’re a country of different tribes with multiple flags from rainbows to yellow circles surrounded by red and black.
One indigenous leader opposed the Voice as nothing but a feel-good gesture that does nothing but divide the country even further.
“Indigenous people are Australian. Italian immigrants are Australian. Some blokes who arrived yesterday from Africa are Australian. We only need one voice – because we are all Australian,” said the elder. “To say some folks are more Aussie than others and deserve different treatment is racist.”
Many have said that the Voice is the opposite of equality.
“The voice wants to divide Australia into multiple countries based on supposed victimism,” said one man. “But bugger that, Australians of all colours have worked to build this country through toil, not handouts.”
A spokesperson for dinosaurs who once walked Australia before humans has wondered if we will soon have to have Welcome to County ceremonies from them.
“How far back do we have to go,” said the scientist. “Next, we’ll have smoking ceremonies for the first fish to walk on land.