STUNNING AND BRAVE: Greens campaigner comes out as straight

A Greens campaigner today has come out as straight, in a move that has shocked his party, family and friends and put the man on a sex offender register with women being warned to stay clear of the predator in case he asks them to see a movie, go bowling, or share a meal at a restaurant.

A Greens spokesperson scolded the man.

“Yikes! This man clearly has no pride and is likely a racist, a Nazi, and a bigot,” said the spokesperson. “It’s 2023, and society has no place for straight, white males. They are destroying our future by an evil desire to reproduce and cause more climate change. We’ve cancelled his membership on the spot.”

Some women, however, have praised the man’s controversial admission.

“Thank goodness some males still fancy females,” said one young woman. “If I wanted fur babies, I’d marry Chewbacca, but I fancy a traditional family, as taboo as that is.”

Sadly, the man has not only lost his position within the Greens, but has been banned from all social media, lost his day job, and had his girlfriend, who thought he was a trans lesbian, leave him.

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