One couple today left their apartment to enjoy Uber Eats at an actual restaurant.

“It was a crazy idea,” said the man. “I mean, imagine leaving your apartment to eat Uber Eats?”

His partner agreed.

“It was super awkward having to not only talk to a real person to order my food, but I also had to chat to my boyfriend. I don’t think I’ve spoken to him for six months,” admitted the woman who usually watches Netflix while dining with her boyfriend.

The couple both admitted that talking to each other was a mistake.

“I had no idea she thought the Betoota Advocate was funny,” said the man. “I’m now worried she’s a soyaholic and needs help.”

The Minister for Zoomers praised the couple for giving a real restaurant a go but advised others don’t copy their extremist behaviour and always stay home, or if they must leave, stare down at their phone the entire time.

“Conversation can lead to discovering diverse thoughts, which should be avoided at all costs. So, I encourage all young people to watch the ABC, browse Reddit, and read The Guardian in silent agreement, and not put themselves in any situation where conversation can spark original ideas.”