Marvel Comics today has announced a brand-new superhero named Captain Left, who will be near invincible to everything except the truth.
“Facts weaken Captain Left like Kryptonite would Superman,” said a Marvel spokesperson. “Hearing that some women don’t have a penis could kill Captain Left on the spot.”
“Captain Left will also be the loudest superhero we’ve ever created, with superpowers including moderating 1308 Reddit forums, producing Spider-Man-like webs to glue herself to famous artworks, and the ability to see racism in absolutely everything.”
Captain Left is the first superhero to identify as a victim rather than an avenger or champion.
Marvel’s new character will feature in every single Marvel comic going forward, seen protesting something or other, correcting pronouns, or yelling at the weather.
Sadly, Captain Left is reported to die a horrible death in her very first issue after chatting with Jordan Peterson.