Children wearing replica pro-wrestling title belts in public must defend their title under strict new sports entertainment laws introduced today.
Unfortunately, six children wearing replica belts in public are currently being treated in hospital for everything from being powerbombed through a table at McDonald’s to submitting to a figure-four leg lock around a no-parking sign pole.
The Minister of Sports Entertainment has praised the move.
“If you’re going to wear a world championship title in public, you should expect to have to defend the title, or else it’s meaningless,” said the minister. “So, if you can’t cop a Tombstone from the Undertaker while grocery shopping with mum, I suggest youngsters forfeit their store-bought title belts immediately.”
At the time of writing, Stone Cold Steve Austin has added 576 world champion titles to his name during a stroll in his local park.