Women across Australia have been slowly moving away from feminism, fearing being drafted to fight and die for their country if World War III strikes.

“I’m all for equality,” said one former feminist. “But being conscripted to fight and bleed out from shrapnel in a muddy field isn’t the sort of equality I want.”

Some men, however, have seen a silver lining if World War III does eventuate.

“Men will finally be seen as useful again,” said one young man. “Despite war being hell, it’ll stop all the modern rubbish that’s emasculating men into walking emotions unable to cope with the most basic of challenges.”

“One young fella broke down and cried the other day because no almond milk was left in the work fridge, then had to take a two-week mental leave,” the man added.

The Minister of Masculinity is fearful of who they could even draft if it came to that.

“The pool of men who act like men is drastically small,” said the minister. “Our entire army will likely consist of ten random blokes from Bankstown and Maroubra.”