A new line of children’s shampoo promises to ward off child hair-sniffing enthusiast Joe Biden’s thirsty nose.

The company behind the new range of children’s hair care products claim the fragrance will repel Biden from even the youngest of children, by containing scents including freedom, intelligence, and women over 18 years old.

“No-more-tears was doing a fine job not irritating children’s eyes, but it did nothing against the leader of the free world’s schnozz causing years of tears for the sniffees.”

Joe Biden made a statement regarding the product which Reddit hailed as brave, stunning, and powerful.

“Walk to microphone. Repeat the line. Insert laugh. End of quote. Ice cream,” said Biden before falling off the stage.

Regular brained people are confused how Biden was the most voted for president of all time, despite zero people attending his birthday party, let alone a pollical rally.

“At least Hunter Biden has some energy about him,” said one man. “He’s so alert his pupils are wider than an owl. But with Joe, you’d think he was of Chinese descent the way his eyes are constantly slanted shut in a state of fatigue. Perhaps that explains Hunter’s multimillion-dollar deals with Chinese energy companies?”