Climate activists are ballistic at the Great Barrier Reef for having the highest coral cover in 36 years.
“HOW DARE IT,” said one seetheologist. “The Barrier Reef being great again has stolen my climate changehood.”
One Extinction Rebellion member said they should have poured the 1000 litres of oil they hosed over the Melbourne Cup racecourse into the ocean to keep their dream alive.
Some have questioned what their “dream” really is.
“Shouldn’t they be happy the Great Barrier Reef is healthy?” said one normal-brained person. “It’s almost like they never really cared about the climate and were actually following a book by a certain bearded German who suggested the best way to bring in communism is by destroying all that is good in a traditional society.”
Alan Joyce has reluctantly retrained Qantas pilots to pronounce the word “great”, after dropping the word to downgrade one of the Seven Wonders of the World to the fear-enticing “Barrier Reef”.
Mainstream media (apart from Outsiders on Sky News) have failed to mention what should be positive news for the environment at the risk of damaging “the message”.