Sydney put in lockdown after five Greenies escape their Newtown enclosure

Five members of the Greens Party escaped their Newtown enclosure today, forcing Sydneysiders into safe zones to avoid Marxist propaganda.

The Greens, all identifying as genders we’ve never heard of before, instantly started gluing themselves across Sydney.

A Newtown Containment Zone spokesperson told reporters the escape was traumatic for normal people and the Greenies themselves.

“Some of the escapees have never seen a woman without a penis,” the spokesperson said. “Let alone people who have a job.”

Unfortunately, due to what police described as the escapees having a “supernatural” tolerance to Ketamine, LSD and Phentermine, it took nine hours and 403 litres of NASA-grade sedatives to tranquillise the Greens representatives.

All the Greenies are now safely back in their Newtown echo-chamber undergoing lobotomies to mend the extreme PTSD they suffered from hearing thoughts and ideas different to their own.

Unfortunately, more to come from the escapees via Twitter…

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