In a touching story, a gallant group of office workers have gone under the razor and shaved horseshoe domes to provide moral support and solidarity for a balding colleague.

The tressless chap went straight to the HR department, only to find she, too, was rocking his signature horseshoe-do.

“I’ve still got my whole life ahead of me, so all this is embarrassing rather than empowering, “said the obliviously brave man. “I’m not ill.”

His optimistic outlook on his bleak future for finding a partner, advancing his career, and crippling hat expenses motivated others to conquer their own personal obstacles.

“I’ll never complain about having a comically long penis again,” said one man. “If he can find the will to rise up, so will I.”