Music videos played in gyms producing anabolic trouser growth

Gymgoers are reporting phenomenal groin gains from the choice of saucy music clips played while trying to work out.

“I tripled in size during a single warmup,” said one fitness fanatic. “I’ve never been so swole.”

Some gym members aren’t as pleased about the video girth-supplements.

“I had such an intense sausage pump after Kylie Minogue’s Spinning Around aired that I had to sit down on the bench press for nine hours waiting for my blood vessels to return to a respectable state.” Adding, “If only the rest of my physique was that rock hard.”

Several gym junkies have called for the ban of Gwen Stefani, Beyonce, and Jennifer Lopez music videos from gyms entirely.

A spokesperson from Fitness Yeah Nah Maybe has taken the feedback seriously.

“We aim to combat skinflute inflation by adding Lizzo to our video playlists to ensure men can walk freely around the gym without damaging equipment, poking eyes out, or leaving nasty spills.”

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