Green’s senator Lidia Thorpe to swap inhumane sausage sizzles with vegan glass barbeques at polling stations

Greens senator and bikie enthusiast Lidia Thorpe will switch polluting sausage sizzles with carbon-neutral glass barbeques on polling day to support Australia’s underground economy and keep money in local communities.

Lidia Thorpe, a member of the Greens Victorian chapter, has further said she’ll replace polling day “how to vote” representatives with armed electoral enforcers who will carefully monitor your voting booth preferences to ensure no costly errors are made.

She’s rejected criticism for dating an ex-bikie boss, stating that since her job was to investigate outlaw motorcycle groups, she was the best person to reveal they are fine citizens with morals bordering on Jesus. “Most even have beards.”

“I took my role seriously. I lived, ate, tattooed and slept with the groups I was embedded in,” added the senator.

Greens leader, Adam Bandt, has revealed the B in LGBTQIA+ now stands for bikies, so anybody discriminating against this minority group of 1% will cop an on-the-spot jail sentence.

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