Greens leader didn’t stand for Australian flag as knees crook from kneeling to China

Greens Leader Adam Brandt today has revealed the reason he couldn’t stand for the Australian flag was due to his knees being absolutely buggered from kneeling to China.

The Greens have said that the communist country poses “no threat to Australia”, further stating that any negativity towards China was “actually racist”, and the Australian government should bin its nuclear sub program and slash the defence budget. (Ed. Not satire, Google it.)

The Greens leader added that he may be green on the outside, but he is red on the inside, saying that despite communism being a giant flop for every country that has adopted the ideology, it simply “hasn’t been properly tried yet”.

Greens supporters have agreed with Adam Brandt. “Under communism, everyone is equal, so despite me having zero education, skills, job, or original thought – I’ll get the same pay and respect as a brain surgeon. As why should somebody who studied for 14 years have more than me? Also, communism doesn’t allow for opposing thought, eliminating inconveniences like having to form a solid argument when I log out of Twitter.”

Adam Brant said that despite the risk of needing a double knee reconstruction from his intense kneeling sessions, he will bravely continue to bend the knee to China over standing up for Australia “every day of the week”.

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