Australia’s Michael Klim’s recent transition to Mickey Klim to compete in the women’s division has been destroyed after FINA banned transgender athletes from elite swimming competition.

“Shit,” said Mickey Klim. “I’m too old to compete in the men’s division, but a small change of my name and a pink bow on my noggin qualified me to dominate the women’s events. Luckily, I kept the receipt for the bow.”

“This just proves that men make better women than women,” said one transgender activist. “Otherwise, they would have let athletes like Mickey Klim swim. FINA are clearly penisphobes.”

Biological women swimmers are still coming up with a way to say they are thrilled to have not trained their whole life to be beaten by a bloke – but need more time to publicly comment in a way that won’t have them doxed on Reddit.

One biological female swimmer anonymously said, “Finally! All the teenage boys I swim with suddenly identity as women when it’s time to hit the showers after training. As they watched us shower, their swollen Speedo’s proved they sure weren’t short of testosterone.”

Australia’s feminists are yet to say a single thing about the whole ordeal, despite claiming they champion women.