Sunday has been completely destroyed for one man today whose girlfriend suggested they “made the most of the day and went on a hike outside or something.”

“The only outside I wanted to explore today was the local beer garden,” said the man. “I’m more dehydrated than a sultana after enjoying a few hundred schooners of Tia Maria yesterday.”

The man added that he has put the Westpac Rescue Helicopter on speed dial and has packed a few flares just in case he evaporates from a complete lack of moisture.

Unfortunately, the man only made it to the mailbox before combusting from terminal waterrhea.