Today, a Sydney Centrelink recipient has been rewarded for his continuous loyal service to Centrelink for reaching the ten-year mark on Newstart. The man will be given eight weeks’ leave from reporting with full benefits.

“I was quickly running out of reporting fake or over skilled jobs that I had as much hope as Peter Panner finding gold of getting,” said the dedicated Newstart recipient. “One time I almost actually got a job which was so stressful I switched to Centrelink disability payments to recover from the anxiety.”

A Centrelink spokesperson said the man was a simple surgeon, lawyer, CEO, and astronaut (referring to his weekly job search applications) down on his luck.

The man intends to spend his hard-earned leave living it up on his $1.40 a day government payments.

“I may even treat myself to a Freddo Frog or a bread roll.”