Inspired by smoking sections, council pools today have announced dedicated pissing lanes where swimmers are free to empty their balls of urine while swimming.

“We already have fast, medium, and drowning lanes, so adding a pissing lane was a no brainer,” said one pool manager. “This way, clients can continue to swim without the embarrassment of producing the telltale yellow cloud not expected to be produced by those under 30 years old.”

One keen swimmer praised the move. “The pool is usually colder than a witch’s tit, and this will help warm the dedicated pissing lane to a toasty temperature if we all do our part.”

Others have been confused by the move. “I thought it was as normal to R. Kelly (Ed. referring to singer’s love to pee on you) in the pool as it is to hang a slash in the kitchen sink.”

The Minister for Scrotoms has praised the move to contain urine to a single lane, yet added, “maybe just don’t open your mouth in the water, or perhaps become one of those weirdos who swim with a snorkel to avoid catching any STDs like Ebola.”

If the move proves successful, masturbation lanes will also be tested along with sex cubicles in the men’s restroom for those who meet new friends while showering after a strenuous float in the pool.