Immaculately Manicured Woman has no Time to Exercise


A Sydney woman known for her elaborate hair styles, make-up, nail art and clothing has defended her obese status, explaining that she simply has “no time for exercise”.

“I put a lot of time and money into my appearance, but you can’t do everything and exercise is hard,” she said. “I’m not saying all the self-maintenance I do is easy, but at least I can do most of it sitting down.”

The woman admitted to spending an average of four hours and $1,000 a day maintaining her looks, ignoring advice from doctors who have suggested she could achieve a 2,000 per cent increase in attractiveness by simply eating some vegetables and going for short daily walks.

“Doctors are unhealthily fat-shaming people,” the woman said. “Men are so dazzled by my beautiful hair, nails, clothes and make-up they don’t notice that I have six chins and my belly rolls have belly rolls.”

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