A Sydney banker has been violently laughed out of the courtyard at Ryan’s Bar in Martin Place this afternoon when he placed his almost month-old iPhone 8 on the table he was sharing with associates.

Those who witnessed the event said it proved the man had no hustle.

“If you can’t arrange for your assistant to camp out and get you the latest iPhone X on release it shows you have no drive or self-respect,” a witness said. “Ryan’s Bar is a sacred networking site for alphas, and it demands a certain level of decorum. Imagine the public spotted one of us with an old phone like that? They’d almost think we weren’t better than them.”

One banker felt sorry for the man.

“Listen, we all make mistakes – like that time I got caught with other people’s money resting in my account for a few years,” he said. “I say we let him get help, then welcome him back when he’s ready.”

A spokesperson for Ryan’s Bar said it would be increasing security to prevent embarrassing incidents like this from happening again.