Cyclist Shakes Head Clean off Body

Cyclist Head

A Sydney cyclist has managed to shake his head clean off his body this morning while attempting to show his annoyance to those walking slowly on the busy CBD footpath he was belting down.

Those who witnessed the self-decapitation said it was pretty funny.

“He was weaving down the footpath tisking, dinging his bell and violently shaking his head all at the same time,” one pedestrian said. “If he just stuck to bell ringing or even gentle swearing like a regular cyclist he might have still had a head to shake at people on his ride home. Anyway, sucked in to the pest.”

The cyclist is somehow still alive and recovering in hospital, despite no longer having a head.

“At least without a head I’ll be breathing out less planet-harming carbon dioxide,” the cyclist said through an electrolarynx connected to his neck stump. “I can now proudly judge anyone with a head as a backwards redneck planet killer.”

The man said he’ll be adding “and head” to his “one less car” sticker.

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