Cooked sashimi is widely tipped to become Sydney’s hottest new food trend after a new Bondi Beach takeaway opened to rave reviews over the weekend.

“What we do is roll flake in batter and then boil it in oil,” the mastermind behind the venture said. “It’s like nothing you’ve ever tried before.”

Bloggers have been quick to embrace the new trend, with one reviewer dubbing it “the most significant culinary innovation since someone discovered avo could be smashed”.

“The master stroke was when they teamed the cooked sashimi with a delicious invention they’ve called ‘julienne potatoes’, which are also boiled in oil,” she said. “Then they serve everything wrapped in old newspaper, which is set to become as popular as the mason jar.”

The fish and chip shop next door is being sued for defamation after it suggested cooked sashimi might in fact be an overpriced version of the exact same thing it has been serving for the past 50 years.