A Sydney man last night rewarded himself with 30 full-strength schooners and a chicken parmigiana with chips, no salad, at his local pub after completing an eight-minute run.

“Doing my first bit of exercise since colour comp at school 14 years ago felt so great I would’ve done it again today if I didn’t have a steaming hangover,” the man said. “The feel-good endorphins from the run made me feel like I had dumped Mother Nature’s pinger. I can really see myself becoming a bit of a fitness freak.”

The man’s partner said he had become rather annoying.

“Since completing his one run, he refers to himself as an athlete and even bought himself some fluorescent runners and compression tights,” she said. “He also claims I ‘don’t understand the lifestyle’ even though I’ve been working out for five years.”

Although the man reported putting on two kilograms after his run and pub session, he has assured everyone it’s all muscle gain.