Man has Heart Attack Running for Door Held Open by Colleague

DOOR OPEN

A Sydney worker today has suffered a massive heart attack after quickening his step to get through a door being held open by a colleague.

The man who is in a serious yet stable condition at Maroubra Hospital has told the Sydney Sentinel that he didn’t want to be rude, even though he knew that exercise such as “walking a bit faster than usual” was hazardous to his health.

“Politeness kills,” the large man said from his hospital beds. “And to tell you the truth, my colleague was being so polite he was bordering on rude. I was about 50 metres from the door, so there was no way I was going to make it without things turning awkward unless I ran.”

A government Workplace Health and Safety spokesperson said the general rule for holding a door open for someone was 5 metres, or 500 metres if they’re hot.

“The rules are meant to be used as a guide only,” the spokesperson said. “The man who suffered the heart attack was 700 kilogrammes and was known to have several heart attacks every day. The worker who held the door open should be fired or sent to jail for being so cruel.”

The man has said he will sue the workplace for millions as soon as he thinks up something good to sue them for.

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