Man Enters Self-Storage Box to Avoid Star Wars Episode VIII Spoilers


Unproudly sponsored by TaxiBox

A 37-year-old man has had a TaxiBox self-storage unit delivered to his parents’ home, where he’s been living for the past 37 years, as part of an elaborate plan to avoid Star Wars: The Last Jedi spoilers.

The man, who described himself as “a modern-day Jedi with a thyroid problem”, said his plan to hide in a self-storage unit for the next 279 days until the movie’s release was “a no-brainer for any serious Star Wars fan”.

“The only way to avoid spoilers is to become one with the force, which is a Jedi way of saying ‘hiding in a box’ for a while,” the man said.

He plans on using Jedi mind tricks, also known as playing Guess Who? against himself, and doing plenty of self-lightsaber practice to keep himself occupied until the movie’s December 15 release.

A spokesperson for TaxiBox told The Sydney Sentinel that this isn’t the first case of someone excluding themselves from society to avoid movie spoilers, with one Avatar fan being held in TaxiBox safekeeping since 2009, after going in expecting the sequel in “a year or so”.

“Lucky for our latest resident, Star Wars: The Last Jedi has a firm release date,” the spokesperson said, noting that the man was fortunate to also have no friends, job or exercise schedule to interfere with his time inside.

To arrange your own spoiler-free Jedi Temple, contact TaxiBox.


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