A major Colombian drug cartel has been caught this morning attempting to smuggle drugs back out of Sydney and into their home country.

The cartel described the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras as like a black hole for drugs, except white. “There are simply no drugs anywhere else in the world,” one senior cartel member said.

“Colombia has a reputation to uphold. Imagine our country’s shame when foreign dignitaries come to visit and we can’t offer our usual hospitality.”

Australian Border Force thanked the cartel for doing their job for them and upgraded their flights to first class.