An overweight Sydney man is now fatter than ever after indulging in an eye-watering $13 smoothie every morning from his local big-brand juice bar.

“The staff looked in such great shape I figured the smoothies and juices would help me with some of my problem areas, which have only become more problematic since swapping four large energy drinks and a chicken-skin sandwich for a fruit smoothie,” the man said. “When I asked a juice bar employee how she stayed in such great shape, she said her salary doesn’t allow her to buy luxuries like food, let alone a $13 smoothie.”

The man’s doctor has advised switching to “a can of fizzy orange and chips with gravy at every meal” in order to undo the damage caused by the smoothies.