A lowly CBD office worker has had the worst start possible to the working week he’d been dreading since awakening at 2pm Sunday afternoon, when his boss struck up a conversation while using an adjacent urinal first thing Monday morning.

“It was agony,” the victim said. “Our office urinals don’t even have those little trough-mist shields between stations, so stage fright kicked in the moment I was hit with steaming wee shrapnel – and things never resumed.”

The fact that there were plenty of free urinals that weren’t directly next to the victim made it particularly uncomfortable, the man said.

“He chose to use the one right next to me and say crude things about the women in the office. One of those women is my wife and if what he said was true, I’ll be asking for the same service when we get home.”

The standoff was said to last seven minutes as the office worker tried everything to squeeze out even just a few drops as his boss watched on.

The man plans to abandon the urinal all together and use the privacy of a fully enclosed poo cubical from now on.