“Performance Artist” Turns Out to be Woman with Good Umbrella Etiquette


Sydney traffic was brought to a standstill this morning by the sight of a woman raising her umbrella at regular intervals to avoid hitting other people with it.

“It was a thing of beauty,” one onlooker said. “I thought it was some kind of strange dance at first, and then I realised she was simply bobbing and weaving to make sure she didn’t poke anyone’s eyes out with her umbrella. What a novel idea.”

An anthropologist said he’d read about similar umbrella etiquette being practiced among some ancient English tribes. “It’s something I’ve never witnessed first hand though, so it’s very exciting to hear of such a thing happening right here in Sydney,” he said. “I even heard she offered to share her umbrella with a pedestrian walking in the same direction as her but, in my professional opinion, that sounds like an urban legend.”

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